To be lazy is to be selfish. Harsh truth, isn't it? Especially for me, who is so lazy that it has to be my blog title. I'm lazy when it comes to lots of things: housework, planning, sundry other tasks that I allow to fall between the cracks of my life.
Sure, I'll have the occasional productive day. Like yesterday. Yesterday, I finished a newsletter I was designing, created this blog, made my first blog post, and figured out how to use Twitter (though I'm still somewhat illtwitterate). Some of this I did while catching up on my favorite shows on Hulu, so I still managed to be lazy in between—and even during—most of my productivity.
But, as this blog woefully admits, I am lazy in my faith. That doesn't mean I don't have faith. On the contrary, only someone with a great deal of faith could do so little to build on it. I'm not short on faith. I'm short on relationship. The whole of Christianity is based on having a relationship with God.
Now, for the record, I'm terrible about keeping up relationships with humans, too. If you are not in my direct line of sight on a regular basis, odds are I'll completely forget to keep in touch with you. I apologize wholeheartedly if you've managed to keep track of me (which shouldn't be hard, considering I've had the same e-mail address since 1999) and I've somehow lost track of you. It's not intentional. I'm a very "out of sight, out of mind" kind of person. It's honest forgetfulness, not a slight against you.
That being said, God is not altogether out of my line of sight, despite being kind of invisible in nature. He's clearly worked in my life for the duration of the experience, and I am reminded of him every day, all day, by everything around me. I'm ridiculously rich in love and hope and family and friends. How could I not see God in my life every day?
So it's not seeing God that's the trouble. It's knowing God. To know God requires me having to do stuff, and, well, being the lazy sort, I often don't like to do stuff. I have to pray, I have to journal, I have to read the Bible, I have to not do crummy things, and if I do crummy things, I have to (wo)man up and apologize for them. And, worst of all, I have to have accountability for all this stuff. Ugh. So I have to have someone on this planet know all the stuff I stink at so they can say, "Hey, you're stinky at that. Fix it!" Except it has to be said nicer because of, you know, Christian-ness.
One of my favorite things to tell my husband is, "I just want to do what I want to do!" The World According to Rachel: 24/7/365. Unfortunately, that doesn't really work for, oh, everyone else on the planet. Or for God. It really needs to be The World According to God: 24/7/365. If it was, things would just turn out better, I know it. That's the way it's meant to work. If I would just let go of all the meaningless things I think are important to me and hold on to the one thing that really is important, how could life not improve?
Again, it comes back to doing stuff. Putting aside the stuff I want to do and picking up the stuff I need to do. I can't be the only person who has a tough time with this. Please tell me you're as imperfect as I am.