The guilt really sets in when my husband comes home from work. I'd like him to come home to a clean and comfortable house with dinner waiting for him, circa 1962. This doesn't typically happen. He doesn't make me feel bad about it by any means—it's just a personal goal that I'd like to achieve.
A friend once suggested (and I have no recollection which friend—if that friend is reading this, I sincerely apologize for my forgetfulness) a method to getting something done. It involved asking my husband what the most important three things are for me to get done during the day. If I get those three things done, no matter what my day was like, he'll at least know I tried to get something done. I call it The Big Three. They are:
- Making the bed
- Tidying the living room
- Starting dinner (unless we're having leftovers)
We actually haven't revisited the list since we had our son, but these are the three things I try to get done every day. Do they get done every day? Eh. At least several times a week, though, which is enough to make a difference.
I should also mention that my husband appears to be an atypical male. He cleans the kitchen every night. He does the majority of the laundry. He cleans the bathrooms. He vacuums. That's on top of all the yardwork. And I never ask him to do any of these things. He just does them.
The difference between me and my husband?
A sense of urgency.
A former boss actually commented once that I had no sense of urgency when it came to my job. Nothing had to get done right away. I always got things done on time, but in my own time. He wanted to see a little more initiative and hop-to-it-ness.
My husband has an understanding that the bathroom needs to be cleaned. The carpets need to be vacuumed. My thinking is, "Boy, vacuumed rooms are nice." But there's never a need. Never an urgency. No reason to go do it right now.
I'd like to say my thinking in this area is limited to household chores, but it's not. What's this blog about again? Faith and stuff. So my sense of urgency is lacking in my faith. And stuff.
I don't know how much time I've got on this earth. No one does. Today could be it for me. Who knows? I should be doing things! God's got a list for me! I should have some up-and-at-'em, right?
But I don't.
So I've decided that I need The Big Three for God. Three things that I get done every day, no matter what, to show God that I'm at least trying. The Big Three shall be:
- Reading my Bible
Now, "fellowship" doesn't mean I need to go to a pitch-in dinner every night, but I need to have some sort of faith-based conversation every day—with my husband, with a friend, with someone. As a form of accountability, I guess. And the other two are pretty much no-brainers.
It's not a perfect system, but hopefully it'll make a difference. Maybe I'll even pray for a sense of urgency. Starting tomorrow...