Last night as we were getting ready for bed, my husband said, "You know what I like about you, Rachel? You're ambitious."
This was in response to my decision to cook a Thanksgiving dinner yesterday. For no particular reason. I just had all the stuff, so I made a turkey, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, stuffing, pink stuff (a family recipe), cranberry sauce, and rolls. I invited his parents over (because we certainly weren't going to eat all of that by ourselves), and it turned out pretty well. There were minor disasters (covering the kitchen with brine—twice—and spilling a half a gallon of cider all over the floor), but it turned out well.
I suppose that was ambitious. I did it all by myself, but it was actually a lot less work than I thought it would be. I even had time to loaf some of the day, and I still managed to get everything done. It probably helped that the stuffing was from a box and the cranberry sauce was from a can.
I asked my husband, "Apart from deciding to make a last minute, unnecessary Thanksgiving dinner, do you think I'm ambitious?" He said yes, that I have a lot of big ideas and a lot of big dreams.
Yes, well. Do I ever do anything with those big ideas and big dreams?
Not so much.
I've written a little about this before, but I can't recall being called ambitious ever before. A dreamer, maybe. Idealistic, sure. But ambitious?
To me, ambition means you don't just have the idea; you have the passion to put the rubber to the road and get things done. You make it happen. I don't feel like looking up the dictionary definition or anything, but it seems to me that there's a drive that comes with the concept of ambition. I'm not wanting for ideas, but I'm wanting for the drive to get them accomplished.
I think part of it is out of fear of failure. I always thought that was a silly concept, but lately I've discovered that's something I suffer from. I don't want to be a disappointment. To myself? To my family? To God? I don't know the answer to that part. I'm trying to make myself believe that there's honor in trying despite the result.
Are you ambitious? Are you a do-er? What's your motivation? How do you get stuff done?
More importantly—can you teach me?