Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Only the Good Die Young

I've always been afraid of dying young. My mom died young, so for some reason I always assumed I would, too. I'm almost positive my sister has thought about it (at least, I hope she has so I don't feel like I'm alone in this!). It's like I expected some sort of bomb or something to go off in my body as soon as I hit my 30s.

Now that I have this surgery coming up, I've been thinking about dying. A. Lot. Plenty of things can go wrong in surgery. Even though it's a surgery I've had before, I figure that the more times they open you up, the more opportunity there is for something to go wrong.

At first, I thought maybe my fears about this surgery were warnings. Like God was trying to tell me not to have the surgery. But then I realized: Fear doesn't come from God. Sometimes the Holy Spirit will move us to an uneasiness that tells us to take a different path, but that's not what this is. This is out-and-out fear. That's not from God.

In talking to a friend today, I realized that fear is from Satan (which I'd already figured out, since it's clearly not from God), and that Satan has chosen my previously existing fear of dying young to play on. He knows it's something I fear. It's something I'm sure I've admitted before. He's using it to plant more fear in me—to shake my faith. To try to turn me away from God. He wants to scare me into doubting God.

I don't like that Satan can use things against me. I don't like that he's such a sore loser that he's willing to take it out on me in order to hurt God. God doesn't want to see me suffer. His heart aches when my heart aches. And he's the only one who can take away this fear and anxiety and replace it with his peace. In fact, I'm having a prayer party the night before my surgery. My friends are all coming over to pray with me and beat Satan to a pulp. Nothing says "get thee behind me" like a bunch of prayer warriors!

I'm sure God wouldn't mind me saying that Satan is a jerkface. What tactics does The Bad Guy use against you? How do you fend him off?

6 comments:

  1. Rachel, this is probably one of the most profound articles you've written yet. How very true, and you expressed that fear so eloquently which I am pretty sure we have all felt at one time or the other in our life. If we live long enough, we will probably have to have surgery (I know I have), and it is frightening, but God did take it away from me. And he will you too. Thanks for such an inspiring article. You rock, girl!!!! God bless.

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  2. Thanks, Peggy! I appreciate that. And I appreciate your prayers! :)

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  3. Satan can use anything and enlarge it with more doubt. My trouble is feeling unworthy of things.

    Rachel, you are on my prayer list, too. ((hugs))

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  4. The antithesis of fear is faith.

    I had major surgery last year and I too started to worry. Especially after reading and signing ALL those forms that give you the possible problems that can arise.

    I have 5 children, but I live alone and didn't have anyone to calm my troubled heart.
    Thus, time to pray. A lot!

    I then felt at peace knowing that all my worrying was not going to have an effect on God's plan. If it was to be my time, then it would be. (I then worried about all the junk I was leaving behind for my children to deal with.)

    If He still had work for me to do, then I was not going to be able to control whether that happened or not. The living part. (My part of HOW I live is all I have control over.)

    Accepting those truths helped me to best enjoy my loved ones and set some new goals.

    May you find peace in your trial. He WILL bless you if you sincerely ask, and TRUST in His answer. He commands, "Peace be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm." Mark 4:39

    Quote from a book,
    "On the Sea of Galilee, the stirring of the disciples' faith was ultimately more important than the stilling of the sea, and so it was with her."

    We are sent here to grow. Let Him help you do that as He IS the Master Gardener!

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  5. I'll pray for you as well - that the surgery goes well, that you banish jerkface satan, and have pease as you prepare for surgery. But you are right, when we are that afraid, it is satan. God is too loving to plant terror in our heart.

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  6. And the thing is, planting terror has no benefit for God. He has nothing to gain by putting fear into my heart and my mind. He's already got me---it's Satan who wants me. Jerkface.

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