A Short Play by Rachel
On the Ice
Scene opens on RACHEL and HUSBAND walking toward a banquet hall. The parking lot appears to be a solid sheet of ice. RACHEL and HUSBAND are nearly to the door when they notice a cute little elderly couple having trouble on the ice. RACHEL comes to the rescue.
RACHEL: It sure is slick out here! Are you OK?
CUTE ELDERLY WOMAN: (yells loudly) Well, no! It's ice!
RACHEL: (unsure of what to say next) Oh. Well, yes. Can I help you?
LESS CUTE ELDERLY WOMAN: Yes!
She fumbles with her purse as she tries to take RACHEL'S hand.
RACHEL: Let me get that for you. (takes purse)
There is a glare from LESS CUTE ELDERLY WOMAN; then they begin to walk.
RACHEL: You'd think they'd salt this or something.
CRANKY ELDERLY WOMAN: This is ridiculous!
RACHEL: I agree!
REALLY CRANKY ELDERLY WOMAN: I'm going to talk to someone about this!
She snatches her purse away from RACHEL as they reach dry ground.
RACHEL: Well, looks like we're out of the ice. Have a great evening!
RIDICULOUSLY CRANKY ELDERLY WOMAN: If I don't die on this ice!
RACHEL and HUSBAND give each other a look. They then spend the rest of the evening shouting at each other, "Well, no! It's ice!" and cracking up.