Let's back up a few years. Like, two and a half. To 2008. My husband and I were talking about trying for our first kid. We agreed upon a start date. And that scared me to death. How could I consciously make the decision to change our lives—my life—so drastically? I was afraid I'd chicken out, so in my secret conversations with God, I asked him to please let our first child be a surprise.
And he was. We weren't trying. I was on birth control. I now have a two-year-old son who's perfectly wonderful in every way (except, you know, the toddler way once in a while). It was the first time I realized that God heard me and helped me.
Now let's fast-forward to my recent back surgery issues. I was supposed to have my second back surgery on November 12 of this year (my first surgery was in May 2008—while I was pregnant with my son). I was so scared. Terrified. I asked God to take the fear away. He gave me (well, he allowed me to have, I guess) pancreatitis, which—wait for it—required my surgery to be cancelled.
The fear was lifted. The cause of my pancreatitis is still a mystery to the several doctors who have been trying to figure it out. It's not a mystery to me.
After my surgery was cancelled, it was rescheduled for December 6 (that's today). We prayed for healing. We prayed for a miraculous healing that would allow me to forgo surgery. Now, I don't typically pray for something as bold as healing, but I felt a renewed confidence due to how God responded to the fear I brought to him when I was supposed to have surgery in November. I thought, "He clearly listens. He clearly responds. I can ask him for this."
So I did.
And you know what? He listened. He responded.
I can't tell you whether or not my disc has healed itself completely or evaporated or what. I don't have x-ray vision. But I can tell you that I have zero pain (outside of the stiffness I've had since my first surgery in 2008), and the numbness in my left leg (the red flag that started this whole surgery debacle) is gone. Gone! I feel better than I have in a really long time. I cancelled my surgery altogether.
I'd say that all I did was pray, but really it was that I prayed with confidence. I prayed in faith that my God is bigger than my pain and my physical problems. He made me; he can certainly fix me.
And he did. And I'm glad. You can't say he doesn't listen. He's heard me. A lot.
And I'm not having surgery today. Yay, God!