The Interrupting Rachel.
The Interrupting Rach—
I'M MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU!
Yes, well. It's not quite as bad as all that. But I've learned that I'm a bit of an interrupter. It's not because I really mean to, and I'm not trying to be rude. And I know I do it, but I only catch myself as I'm doing it, not in the moment before. Inconvenient.
Here's what happens: I have a thought. The thought doesn't just slowly rise to the surface like most thoughts. No, my thoughts tend to bubble right out of my head through my mouth at the exact moment I think them. This is inconvenient, not just because I'm going to interrupt the current speaker with my bubbly thought, but because my bubbly thought has yet to be, well, thought through. This results in an interruption, typically with something half-baked and silly.
It's just like this blog post. This morning, I thought about how I'm pretty sure I interrupted some people Wednesday night at a meeting (sorry, Worship and Creative Arts Ministry leaders!). In the very next moment, I started blogging about it. Hopefully this isn't half-baked and silly.
The reason I blurt and interrupt with my bubbling thoughts is that, as quickly as they come to the surface, they disappear. I feel like if I don't get it out there, that idea will be lost forever. That happens a lot. I'm an idea-y person. My thought isn't more important than someone else's; it just feels more urgent because I know how temporary my thoughts are. I'm sure I would be much more polite if I just kept a little notebook or something in my purse. I'll have to look into that...but I'm sure I'll forget by the time I'm done posting this.
Good thing I'm writing it down, huh?
Anyway, I thought about interrupting people, and now I'm thinking about whether or not I interrupt God. God put The Lazy Christian on my heart several years ago. It was his idea. But in the past few years, I've also had lots of other ideas—scripts, novels, inventions, you name it. I haven't started on them in earnest, but because they bubbled up to the top quickly, I had to devote energy to developing them enough that I wouldn't forget them completely.
Yeah, I'm kind of interrupting God.
His ideas are better, but mine are more fleeting. He hasn't finished his thought yet because I'm bouncing along to my next idea. I'm interrupting his plans—plans that I know are far superior to mine—but somehow I just can't stop myself.
And I hear you saying, "Take every thought captive, Rach. That'll keep 'em from bubbling over." Yes, yes. Easier said than done. My thoughts are kind of willy-nilly in here, and it's tough to hang onto them long enough to inspect them. My thoughts are bubbly and quick. Does anyone have slower, more deliberate thoughts? I'd love to know what that looks like!
And are you interrupting God in your life, too? Are you putting aside his plans for your own?
The NON-Interrupting Rachel.
*sigh* Even my jokes don't think I can change.