No, my irrational fear of wrongful imprisonment has not come to fruition. Not that kind of convicted.
We have a Roku player in our home. A Roku player allows us to stream audio and video content from various internet locations, including Netflix, Crackle, Amazon on Demand, Pandora, etc.
I love it.
It's what we have instead of cable. There's always something on I want to watch—movies, TV shows. As I've probably mentioned before, I'm a big Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan. I've seen every episode because all the seasons are streaming on Netflix, and I recently watched the latter seasons on the Roku (whole seasons which I somehow missed originally?). Lately, I've started watching the show Angel, which is a spin-off of Buffy. Same evil creatures, same heroic Scooby-type squad. Took me a while to get into it, but now I'm on season three and hooked.
The other day while I was watching it, this little voice in the back of my head said, "Stop watching Angel."
What what? Stop watching Angel? For reals? I assumed I misheard it and continued watching.
The next day, the little voice popped up again. "Rachel, seriously. Stop watching Angel."
Again, I ignored it. The voice didn't pop up while I was working on the last few seasons of Buffy. Why would it have a problem with Angel? Nope.
This voice kept popping up and bugging me. Well, we'll say it was nudging me. Not without cause—I'd recently had some terribly frightening Angel-related dreams. That in itself should have scared me out of watching the show. The dreams were that bad. Then at our small group on Friday, we were studying John 3, and John 3:19-21 says:
This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.
Interesting. It doesn't say, "It's totally acceptable to hang onto some darkness and some light. Also, it's totally OK to ignore God. No big deal."
We started talking about ways we still dip our toes into darkness when we're supposed to be living in the light—and the things we don't want to live out in the light in front of other followers. So I opened my big mouth to my small group and said, "I think God wants me to stop watching Angel. But I don't want to!" At first, one of my friends—who is also a big Buffy and Angel fan—said, "No! You can't! I want you to watch the whole thing so we can talk about it!"
That had crossed my mind, actually. I thought, "Well, I only have two and a half seasons to go. Once I'm done, I won't need to watch them again. I just want to see what happens!"
But that's not what God said. He said, "Stop watching Angel." Not, "OK, finish the series and then stop watching Angel."
Then my friend realized that she didn't want to advise me to disobey God, naturally, so she said, "Yeah, you've got to stop watching. Darn it!"
Darn it, indeed.
This isn't a commentary on Angel being darkness—although, you know, demons and such aren't exactly light viewing. There's nothing inherently wrong with watching Angel. The problem here is obedience. I heard God's voice, and I refused to listen. I wanted to do what I wanted to do!
Kind of a theme in my life.
You're either in darkness or in light. You're either listening to God or you're not. You can't say you're a follower of God and then ignore him. When you feel that tugging at your heart, you've got to listen. He's got his reasons. Even when I really want to know what happens to Angel because I hear he turns into Angelus for a while and that's scary and how does he change and I really want to see how they deal with Wolfram and Hart and if Darla comes back and what happens with her and...and...
I'm done. If nothing else, I can just go read the synopsis somewhere and figure out what happens without having to watch it. And now that I've made the decision, I feel a lot of peace. Because I listened.
What's God been asking you to do, and why have you been ignoring him?