My husband used this Memorial Day weekend to get a bunch of work done around the house. His primary task, though, was painting the trim on our house. My father-in-law came over to help, and they got a lot done. Despite the heat, which was—well, hot. As you would imagine. Then, after eight hours of painting, the man mowed the lawn.
He clearly has a problem.
What did I do while he was painting and mowing and sweating and working? I tended to my son. Set out things for sandwiches. Went shopping (with my son). Watched a movie while my son napped. Got, like, one thing ready for dinner.
It seems that no matter what I do, my husband is always doing more. I can't compete!
And then it occurs to me: Rachel, marriage isn't a competition.
My husband is a busy bee. And, as indicated by the title of this blog, I am most definitely not. My husband and I bring different things to our marriage. Different skill sets, as it were.
Can I paint the house? I suppose. I probably wouldn't do a great job. So I probably shouldn't paint the house. And I definitely can't mow the lawn. It might actually kill me, what with me being deathly allergic to grass and all.
Can my husband play "vacation" with our toddler? Sit in a tent for half an hour looking at insect flashcards with a flashlight, hike up the "mountains" in our house, spend another half an hour in the tent looking at dinosaur flashcards with a flashlight (and see a Baryonyx go by our tent), and fix three imaginary meals out of wooden vegetables? Probably. But he seems to have a low tolerance for imagination games, as he will admit.
So, even when it looks like I'm "only" having fun with my son, I have to remind myself that I'm helping him learn and grow. What I'm doing is important—important in a different way from what my husband does for our family. We don't compete with each other; we complement each other.
Because after watching him work ridiculously hard all day long, I feel like I needed to remind myself of that.
Do you sometimes see your relationships as competitions, purposely or not?