It's true. Of all the descriptors people use, "sweet" rarely makes the list. I get "funny" or "sassy." Even a few mentions of "spunky" in between the (half-joking) utterances of "lazy." I mean, I'm capable of doing some sweet things—once in a while I'm even thoughtful!—but my overall demeanor isn't necessarily sweet. I don't seem to have what people call a "gentle spirit."
But you know who does? Ann Voskamp.
She made an appearance at the Saturday night session of She Speaks. I'll be honest: I didn't know who she was until about five minutes before. I had to ask someone. I'm apparently not up on all the hip books.
Keep me informed, people. Really.
|Ann Voskamp. And she's pretty, too! Jeepers!|
And that doesn't happen very often.
As she spoke, I thought, "I'm not like that. She's so calm. She's so gentle. She just seems like such a godly woman. Is that what godly women act like? Because that's not me, then, Lord." I actually cried thinking about it.
As I left the session and headed to my hotel room (trying not to speak to anyone, lest I transition to a full-out bawl), I asked God, "Should I be more like that? Am I too sassy to be godly? Should I not be that way? What good could I possible be to you when my personality is so loud and sassy?"
After a few more tears, I felt God speak to my heart:
Rachel, I need you to reach different people than Ann does. I've got something else for you.
Isn't it amazing that God can use both someone soft like Ann and someone sassy like me? We both have a place in ministry; we both have a purpose in God's kingdom. I'm sure Ann's not always gentle and calm. I mean, the woman has six kids—she's got to freak out once in a while. I'll bet there are times when I'm gentle and calm, too.
Even if it's only for a nanosecond, I'll bet it happens.
It's fine to think about how you fit into ministry or into God's kingdom. Just don't doubt that you do. God made you. He knows who you are at the core and how you fit into everything. He's made Rachels, he's made Anns, he's made everyone in between, and we all have unique traits that make us indispensable to God. And if you're not sure how or where you fit, don't hesitate to ask him. If you're willing to serve, he's got a spot for you. Seriously.
I mean, he's even got a spot for funny, sassy, spunky, lazy me! So, clearly, he can work with anyone.
Do you ever doubt your usefulness in God's kingdom?
P.S. - I just ordered Ann's book. I'll let you know how it is! :) If it's anything like her presentation the other night, I'm prepared to have my socks knocked off. You should go get it, too, and then we'll have something to talk about!