Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Silence and Solitude and Teeth

A few months ago, I posted about a silence and solitude exercise we did at church. We had to go off by ourselves and be silent and alone for an hour. We had a choice of exercises: visualizations, Lectio Devina, intercessional prayer. Because I'm a visual person, I chose the visualization exercise. It was something like this:


Hold your hands out in front of you and close your eyes. Ask God to put a physical representation (object) of yourself into your hands.


Easy enough, right? So I sat down crosslegged in the silent, solitudinous area I'd chosen. I put my hands out in front of me, and I silently asked God for an object. I waited. And waited. I focused my thinking; I shut out the world around me. I focused on what that object was going to be. I set my mind's eye on my hands and waited. And after about ten minutes, God gave me an object:
A set of chattering teeth.

I was shocked. I was hurt. What? I thought. This is what represents me? You have to be kidding! A set of teeth that just jabber and don't say anything? That's horrible! Tell me what this means!

And the reply was, This isn't what I think of you, Rachel. This is how you think I see you. This is how you think others see you. But this isn't really you.

Oh. OK. Then how do you see me?

I put my little hands out again, and I closed my eyes and waited for another object to appear. And in no time at all, he sent me this:


Well, not this one exactly, but it was a delicate glass heart that filled my hands. A blue one with a swirly pattern in it. And I heard, This, Rachel. This is you. 

Wow.

God saw right to the heart of me. Literally. He recognizes how delicate I am—how fragile my heart is. I never think anyone notices that about me. But God does. And the heart was big; it filled my hands. I'm glad God sees that I have a big heart. Again, something I assume others don't notice. 

We had a moment that day, God and me. He showed me who I was in his eyes, and that means the world to me.

When was the last time you had a moment with God? 

7 comments:

  1. Hi Rachel - This is beautiful. Someone was praying with me once and asked God to show me how He saw me and it was a picture of a sapling planted at the river's edge, bending in the wind and I felt God was showing me that as long as I am rooted into the river of life, the hardships of the world may bend me, but I will not break. Kind of awesome, as at that time I was feeling like I could quite possibly splinter and crumble.
    God is awesome
    God bless
    Tracy

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  2. Hello Rachel,

    Thank you for sharing your experience with me. Your experience touched my soul so deeply, so deep that I could not even begin to explain it to you.

    It's like your experience, is also a moment that God and I shared too... at the precise moment He lead me here to read this. I'm still crying about it.

    My heart is fragile too... I did blog about your blog here... http://eaglealtitude.blogspot.com/2011/08/broken.html and I hope that you won't be mad at me... too.

    God bless. With love and care from Kerrie. xOx

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  3. Hello Rachel,

    Thank you for stopping by and leaving me such a heartwarming comment. Your thoughtfulness and kindness really brightened my day.

    I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
    God bless. With love and care from Kerrie. xOx

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  4. Hi Rachel,
    Your message here was very touching. I have been trying to find my niche in the world as I seem to have a fear of society. I am doing a search on "solitude" and happened onto your blog. I ask you to please pray for me, I am having trouble with finding gainful employment and need a good job, I am getting old and work is harder to find as an older man. I am a sole provider and since I am having great difficulty in the world I am feeling quite desparate. God bless you and take care. In Christ, Rick

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  5. @Anonymous Thanks for stopping by, Rick! I'll be praying for you.

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  6. Perhaps what He sent you was truly a sign. Like chattering teeth, you need fixing, not because you are broken, but because you think too small of yourself.

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