|All dressed up with no place to go. *sigh*|
But this baby girl is making me wait.
She's ready. She's fully grown and healthy. She was even grabbing her feet in her last ultrasound. She's doing stuff outside babies do, but she's doing it right here in my belly. And that's kind of uncomfortable, to tell you the truth. Most babies run out of room by now and move less. Not my little one! She just pushes my organs aside and makes the dance floor bigger.
With my son, my water broke first. I wasn't thinking about it. I wasn't ready for it. He was two and a half weeks early. I wasn't uncomfortable. I wasn't ready to be done with that pregnancy. He could have baked a little longer and I'd have been fine with it.
This time, I am so ready to be done. I've been sick and/or in pain this entire pregnancy. I've dipped in and out of depression because I've felt so terrible. My poor son has gotten the worst of it, I think. A cranky mama plus three-year-old antics (especially potty training) does not bode well for the kid. And that makes me feel terrible for him and sends me a little further into depression.
Since I know she's full-term, I've been trying everything to get labor started. Every old wives' tale in the book is worth trying. Long walks. Spicy food. Pineapple. Eggplant parmigiana (although it apparently needs to be from Scalini's to work). Bouncing on an exercise ball. I've even been cleaning the house in the hopes that the physical exertion will start something! Cleaning the house. Me. Will wonders never cease?
I can't say all my efforts have been in vain. Three nights, I've had contractions. Three nights, they've stopped in the morning with no baby. Argh!
I've resigned myself to the fact that, no matter what I do to get labor started, my baby girl won't arrive until the time is right. For her, for God. Whatever the timing is, it's in God's hands. I know this verse is about waiting for Jesus' return, but I think it's an apt comparison:
See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. - James 5:7-8
A farmer can't control the rain, no matter how desperately his crops need it. He just has to be patient. I just need to be patient and wait for God's perfect timing to kick in. You'd think I'd get a vote, what with my being 75% of this baby-making machine and all. But, no. It's out of my hands—no matter how much I try to take it into my own hands.
Now, here's where you come in. To make me feel better, tell me about a time you had no choice but to wait on God, and tell me how much better it all turned out because you waited.
Really. I want to hear it. I need a pick-me-up, people!