But, no. It's my gallbladder.
Apparently, pregnancy can wreak all sorts of havoc on your body, and your gallbladder can go all wonky because of it. Who knew? Not me. I didn't know until after it was a problem. I had a horrible gallbladder attack on Friday. Crazy pain, vomiting. Crying because of the crazy pain and vomiting. All because I went out for ice cream with my family. Blecch. An ultrasound revealed that my gallbladder was, "Just full o' stones!" as the tech put it. The only reliable treatment for gallstones is to have the gallbladder removed.
|This is a pic from my back surgery in 2008. Kidding!|
What's funny is that I was so anxious about the back surgery I was scheduled to have in late 2010. I was awake-all-night-and-crying anxious. Head-for-the-hills-it's-Godzilla anxious. I've been thinking about the possibility of this surgery since my discussion with my doctor on Saturday morning.
And I'm not scared.
I'll still have to go under anesthesia. I'll still be having surgery. I'll have two kiddos to take care of when I come out of it (including one who's still nursing, so that'll be interesting). But I'm feeling OK about it.
I can't figure out why, though. Is it because I don't really have time to think about it? Most likely, it's going to be this week. Doesn't give me much time to fret and create awful scenarios in my head of what could happen. That back surgery was scheduled a month or so out. I had a month to get worked up about it.
But it wasn't really like that. I was scared from the get-go. I was uncomfortable with it from the start.
For God is not a God of confusion, but of peace.
- I Corinthians 14:33 (ESV)-
Yes, I'm taking that verse a little bit out of context. It's really about speaking in tongues, but I don't think it's any less true in a global sense. God doesn't cause anxiety. He tells us not to be anxious about anything. But he can prevent us from having peace if he knows something isn't the best decision for us.
We can follow his prompting or ignore it; we still have free will, of course. God may just enact a different game plan, since we know that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him" (Romans 8:28). We may have to take the long way around to get to the good, but it'll be there somewhere.
Personally, I'd rather listen a little harder in the first place and get to the good a little faster.
Have you ever had two similar situations in which you felt God had different directions for you? How did you know what to do?