God has had me cut so many ties in the last year. With the ups and downs of postpartum depression (which I'm still wading through---thank you all for your prayers and support, bloggy pals) and trying to keep myself together while raising my little ones, I've been more than happy to put this blog and several of my other activities to the side.
|That bouquet is for me, you know.|
But nothing's missing, really.
I've been using the phrase, "It's not my season," lately. It's not my season to be a blogger. It's probably not my season to be gone three nights a week rehearsing for a show (although there are plenty of days I wouldn't mind the break from my kiddos!).
My current season is about caring for myself. That sounds kind of selfish, but I don't mean it in an I'm-the-most-important-person-in-the-world way. I mean it in an if-I-don't-take-care-of-myself-now-I-don't-know-what-life-will-look-like way. I've taken up running. Yes, although I've said I'd only run if someone was chasing me with an ax, I've taken up the sport. And I'm committed to two (maybe three!) 5K races in the upcoming months. I've also started Zumba, which is crazy fun. I've even taken up drawing and painting. I'm not great at it (and the first few paintings were kind of---well, kind of scary), but it's soothing. And we even got a dog! I love her to bits, and she's a great companion. She even goes running with me! It's that kind of caring for myself---emotionally and physically---that's helping keep me together right now.
I do miss my previous season. It didn't last long enough for my liking, but I'm hoping I'll experience it again. At present, God and I have a different kind of relationship. We talk constantly. Most of it is me begging for strength and stability, but that only makes me more dependent on him. I can tell he's holding my hand every day, coaxing me back to life. Some days are up, some days are down, but every day is with him.
|Oh, that face just makes me smile!|
And last, but certainly not least, I can't say enough about seeking help if you're dealing with depression, postpartum or otherwise. I'm not ashamed to say that I've been going to therapy and that my doctor has prescribed medication for me. It shouldn't be something that Christians are ashamed to talk about. Until I experienced depression, I didn't understand it at all. I wouldn't have understood why someone wouldn't want to get out of bed or wouldn't want to see friends and family. I wouldn't have understood a flash flood of tears or a desire to escape. But now I understand. It's chemical. It's hormonal. It's nothing I did, and there's nothing I can do on my own to fix it. Medicine and therapy help the mind and body, and a healthy dose of prayer does wonders for mind, body, and soul. But don't be ashamed, and don't let anyone shame you, either.
So that's where I'm at. I'm drawn back here every once in a while just to interact with you, dear readers, and catch up on what you're doing. I miss you! So answer me this:
What do you do to care for yourself (or to let others care for you) during difficult seasons?